once upon a life

strong words

(originally written 04/18/09)

My granddaughter, Gabby, was visiting earlier this week and quickly made her way to my home office workspace. I didn’t give it much thought since it’s something she loves to do when she comes over…play at my desk and rearrange all the “stuff.” The next time I sat at my desk to work, I noticed all of the paper clips were where they belonged, arranged by size and perfectly separated. I smiled. The pens, pencils, highlighters, etc., were all neatly organized, and of course, in color order. Again, I smiled when I thought of her sitting here, deep in thought, in her own little world, and perfectly content to be in my “space.”

She’s getting older now (almost 10), and I don’t worry as much anymore that she’ll disturb my mounds of paperwork, or disrupt my chaotic piles of notes, filing, books, etc. Truth is, I’ve gotten older too, and short of her having access to a shredder, there’s really nothing here that is all that darn important, or can’t be replaced. Come to think of it…I may buy a shredder.

Anyway, she did leave behind something that was not here before, and something I will treasure forever. Her handwritten words on a purple post-it note, neatly taped to my computer monitor. She didn’t just write the note and place it on my desk; since she’s apparently figured out I needed a better system by the obvious mess that was there already. No, she strategically placed it where I would see it every time I sit here…

Strong Words by Gabby M. : Truth, God, Love, Bless, Belief, Please, and Thank You

First of all, I love that she put the initial of her last name. That’s so I don’t confuse her with my other granddaughter I don’t have named Gabby. And I love that she drew a square around each word to draw more emphasis to each. In other words, pay attention!

I still have that sticky note. Each time I look at it, I think of my precious Gabby and my heart opens. I am reminded of how incredibly intuitive all children are, and I ask myself "have I acted upon those seven strong words today?"

unchartered territory

In November 2004 the world turned upside down and its very foundation cracked wide open. The sky was no longer in its familiar place and it became very, very dark. I have never known such gut-wrenching fear. I must admit my very first instinct was to hide, but I knew I couldn't leave my loved ones behind in this nameless darkness. My senses quickly tried to adjust to these foreign surroundings. The first faces I remember seeing were very familiar, but to my horror they reflected the same fear I was trapped in.

 

Could this really be happening? We were all scrambling to find our footing on this ever-increasing gaping hole. Now and again we would reach out in a feeble attempt to boost one another to solid ground. I then became aware of a pattern to this madness. The ground would begin to rumble beneath us again, and it would inevitably be followed by a devastating jolt of pain, leaving us stunned and scrambling, but unfortunately not numb.  

Those of us who were left hanging on immediately began to slide toward each other. At times it allowed us to reach out and pull another back to safety. Other times this very same slippery slope unwittingly slammed us into one another with a force that caused you to lose your footing even more. Another pattern emerged - recoil back to the safety of your own self-controlled insanity!
 
Suddenly, complete strangers began to appear. They were there to help. The first problem I had to overcome was trying to understand the strange language they spoke. I was not at all familiar with their words. I looked to the familiar faces for signs of relief, or at the very least comprehension, only to find none. I stared intently toward the strangers as they spoke, thinking I would understand something in their body language, but there were just blank expressions reflecting deep concern. More and more strangers began to appear, and in my horror, I began to recognize their language. From their mouths spewed words that were so vile they were incomprehensible. Tumor. Brain. Terminal. Three months.

 

Three years and three months later (02/02/08), my beautiful sister, Connie, transitioned to her Lord. Her journey is an amazing testimony of faith, courage, grace, and all that is beautiful in this world. One day, when I can adequately express such a love story, I will write of it (because she asked me to). Until then, I do all that I can to honor our secrets and promises to one another. Without her, I am traversing unchartered territory.  I find myself still leaning on her, and as promised, she is always there. Nudging...whispering..."you can do it Mackie." She is the reason I do what I do.